Payback or pay forward?

If God is merciful, how can there be such a thing as temporal punishments? Why bother to forgive our sins if he wants to bear grudges and retain the punishments due to us in this life?

Unfortunately, the term “Temporal Punishment” invites misunderstanding. The word “punishment” is too negative a connotation for what the doctrine truly represents, which is nothing less than the love and wisdom of God in helping a soul towards perfection. A better word would be temporal “purification”, but for the purpose of this discussion, let’s keep to its original and more familiar terminology to avoid confusion.

Contrary to what some might believe, it is not the cruel retaliation of some fuming deity seeking payback. It is however the just restitution made in atonement to God for all the harm and pain caused by our sins, even those already forgiven. Let us remember that no sin is personal. All sin is social, even when committed in secret and alone, since it infects and weakens both society and the Church because of our interdependence on each other. Either for evil or for good, we have to resign ourselves to the reality that each one of us no matter how slight, has an influence on every individual we encounter.

The idea that our sins have consequences that run their course despite our sorrow and contrition over them is a hard notion to swallow in this day and age. We’re so used to having dirt on our clothes washed away without a trace by a simple dash of detergent, that we often forget that mistakes in life sometimes have effects that are a little more stubborn to remove.

If we violate a traffic law, we conveniently pay the fine and move on with our lives. If we mistype a letter, we can always press backspace and start over. And for children used to the pampering love of their parents, there’s always someone willing to close an eye and white-wash their faults with characteristic indulgence.

Today more than ever, this complacency becomes the norm when so much in society and technology work towards delivering us from the burden of undesirable consequences. In fact, there is a distinct trumpet call in the world that incites us to reap the benefits of pleasure without any obligatory hassle. Contraception is one such example.

Yet in practice, nothing could be further from the truth.

For instance, we can strike someone in anger and still be fortunate enough to enjoy the person’s forgiveness, but the impact and bruise of our action remains visible and painful to the victim who continues to feel the effects of the punch long after it’s been forgiven. Saying you’re sorry for cheating on your wife might convince her to pardon you, but the pain of that betrayal will forever scar the soul of your marriage even if it doesn’t tear the two of you apart. And the tears of a young mother crying over the loss of her unborn child through abortion cannot absolve the memory of what could have been, even when she goes on to have other children later in life.

In each of these scenarios, there is contrition, forgiveness and perhaps even reconciliation. But the effects of sin in each case stubbornly clings on to the fabric of our lives and extend far beyond our naive expectations.

Justice and logic demand that for every wrong, there must be restitution. For every offence, there should be atonement. It is what we demand for ourselves when we suffer some personal injustice. We instinctively seek a just resolution to our grievances because it is part of our nature to do so. That is why every nation and state is empowered with civil and secular courts to uphold the rights of individuals and society to justice.

Even in everyday circumstances, we see the sensibility of this logic. A person who steals something must in addition to apologizing for the theft, return the stolen article. A father who reneges on his promise to celebrate his son's birthday must find some way to make it up to the boy if trust is to be restored.

Because talk is cheap, repentance is more than just muttering mea culpas and striking our breasts in great drama before returning to the "ho hum" routine of life as usual.

So if we feel so strongly for ourselves and cry out to God for satisfaction against the injustices in our lives, knowing in our hearts that there is no judgment more fair, more just than the eternal wisdom of our Lord, why then do we deny that same right and prerogative to God Himself who is so deeply grieved and offended by the nature of sin?

God is Love. But true love is also just. It cannot be otherwise. Love seeks the good and welfare of the beloved. That means righting the wrongs, correcting the injustices, repairing the abuses suffered by the beloved.

Frankly if we truly love God and are sincere in our repentance, we will do more than just be content with offering a verbal apology. We will in fact do all we can to repair the damage done to our relationship with the Lord by seeking to love more earnestly.

After all, any decent father is bound by love to correct his children. As scripture says, "The Lord disciplines those whom he loves." Likewise any loving child longs to assure his parents of his sincerity through a greater outpouring of obedience and improvement. In other words, true love seeks to satisfy not just the victim’s need for justice but also the sinner’s need for righteous correction.

This does not in any way diminish God's tremendous sense of mercy and forgiveness. But we must remember that forgiveness is a two-way street. It is not an end in itself.

It is a call to walk more righteously in the path of true conversion and holiness. So even though a person is forgiven and reconciled to God through the sacrament of confession, he must in true repentance strive to make amends for his sins by repairing the harm done to others.

If this is not at all possible in a concrete way, he can still participate in the healing and redemptive mission of Christ by undertaking acts of penance, charity and service for the good of souls. Most of all, he can atone for his sins by patiently and humbly accepting whatever crosses and difficulties Divine Providence might send him.

But hang on; if God is love, if he is all merciful and forgiving, isn’t he supposed to overlook things like justice for himself?

Much of this confusion comes from thinking that Love and Justice are incompatible. Yet in reality, they’re inseparable. You cannot have one without the other. There is no love without justice nor is justice possible when love is absent. The drama of our human history clearly proclaims that.

Because God is Love, he must also be Just, even if that Justice is tempered by his Mercy - a balance that cannot be perfectly achieved by fallen man but nevertheless describes the divine nature and mystery of God.

The psalms alone are full of lamentations and cries for the mercy of God, asking the Lord to show pity on the psalmist and grant him justice in his grievances. If scripture ties mercy so inextricably to upholding justice, true love to righteousness, real contrition to atonement, isn’t it righteous and just that in the divine law, there should be equal fairness and justice due to the dignity of God? The saints and angels would demand it out of love for Our Lord and Creator, even if we should deny it.

So temporal punishments are really nothing more than the just sentences accorded to our grievous actions by divine justice. Every man, woman and child has a pair of scales that measure how we live our life. Our Lord Himself says in scripture that "vengeance is mine" Romans 12:19-21.

Now vengeance is quite another thing from revenge, although the world constantly mistakes one for the other. Vengeance has the fulfillment of justice in mind, no more no less. Revenge is just returning evil with evil, oftentimes inflicting more harm than received to prove a point. Even though vengeance might sound cruel to us, what it simply means is that God is just and there is truly a fair judgment for every soul, even if in this life there will always be imperfect justice. In fact, our civil courts are but a poor substitute for the divine justice that we long for and can only find in the courts of heaven.

For all our philosophizing, the human spirit yearns for a just world where every victim has his day in court, where every wrong and grievance is fairly addressed and satisfied....

And this I think is due to our innate instincts and desire for righteousness.

We ask God to forgive us our sins and he does, especially since no matter how grievous our sins are, his divine mercy is infinitely greater. But we also expect him to remove all consequences and sufferings that occur as a natural consequence of our sins. That is as mature as a child committing a crime and asking his parents to bury the evidence in addition to pardoning him. Can there truly be sincerity in an apology that is more concerned with escaping the consequences than repairing the offence?

Common sense will tell us that there is no virtue or righteousness in such an attitude. In fact, the graver our sins, the more we can expect to experience painful repercussions. Remember that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. We see that in the physical realm. The longer we place our hand in the fire, the graver the burns and sufferings of pain, and indeed, the longer the recovery. So in a way, the "consequences" are proportionate to our actions.

In a universe governed by the natural laws of medicine, physics, nature and common sense, the spiritual dimension is also held together by supernatural laws of order that proceed from the wisdom of God. Naturally, telling a lie is not quite the same thing as murder. And quite logically, the effects of adultery and abortion are more serious and harmful than uncharitable words.

Temporal punishments refer to the purification that a soul must go through in order to recover its health and atone for the sins committed. If properly embraced, they not only give strength to our souls and restore peace to our conscience; they also enable us to grow in Christian perfection in much the same way that an athlete pursues greatness through discipline.

We often forget that the soul is like the body in that it can be injured and wounded by spiritual falls and dangers...and in some cases, mortally. Sin does that. Because we're not always conscious of its dimensions as we are of our material body, we don't think of our soul in those terms. And depending on the injury it suffers, it can either take a long while or a short time for the soul to regain its health.

Haven't you noticed often that sin brings despair to our hearts and prevents us from praying sometimes, or at least forces us to pray badly? We feel further from God and hope than we are accustomed to. Still, like any good mother, the Church rushes to our aid by guiding us to the healing power of the sacraments, while at the same time suggesting reflections, readings, devotions, charity, prayer, penance and acts of mortification which all do violence to one thing - namely our pride and ego.

But not everyone will hasten to take advantage of these counsels and apply themselves diligently to these commendable practices and reflections. Which leaves many more who will happily confess their sins and then go about their lives as if nothing more is required of them.

It is true that they are forgiven if they are truly sorry for their sins. But they are also more likely to commit the same sins over and over again, and wonder at the end of the day why confession and the sacraments have not made them any different.

The reason? No penance, no true repentance, no sacrifice. It is no secret of the sages that men learn best through sacrifice and suffering. What knowledge that is gained through hardship is not easily forgotten, and it transforms a soul as the pruning knife cuts and moulds a young sapling.

Instead we are brought up in a culture that seeks greater short cuts and comfort in everything, including the quickest, surest way to heaven that does not require too much sacrifice. That is false theology, no matter how appealing it might sound to our appetites.

Jesus constantly warned His disciples against taking the wide and easy path. At the same time, all is grace. Our desire to atone for our sins is in itself a grace. I've always said that no one can save himself or raise himself to greater sanctity by pulling on the roots of his own hair. He needs the saving action of God and faith.

In the same way, no one works his way to heaven and sanctity by "doing" penances without first and foremost believing in God's mercy and love. It is his mercy that forgives, pardons and inspires us to discipline ourselves in order to help ourselves. He alone does the saving.

When we think of the penances given at the tribunal of confession (which are nothing more than just restitutions for our offences), we already see the immeasurable mercy of God and His Church when all we need to fulfill in atonement for our sins are often some short prayers, some brief reflections or a simple act of kindness etc.

Come to think of it, this is totally disproportionate to the grave insult and grief that a single sin can cause the heart of God. So even in this, Newton's law is already demolished when divine justice refuses to give us what we truly deserve, but only a trickle of what should be our real punishment. Is that not mercy?

Hell is a real place. And the punishments of the fallen angels bear before our minds always. They rejected God but once and definitively in their inspired intellect, we reject God a hundred times a day and are given mercy evermore because of our dull and clouded minds. Why? - Because he loves us. He doesn't just tolerate us; he labors to save us.

Now what about people who do not take upon themselves the atonement that is necessary for sanctification in this life? More often than not, the penances we receive in Confession are sufficient payment to fulfill the penalty for our sins. However, for those who fail to adequately avail themselves of such opportunities, they will have to confront the same reality in Purgatory. There is no escaping this need for purification if we hope to stand before the all holy presence of God one day. Which is partly why the saints constantly offer their sacrifices and pains for the salvation of sinners. Happily there is always someone, somewhere atoning for us, taking upon themselves after the example of Jesus, the sentence that is rightly meant for us.

After all, as Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said; if it is possible for doctors to transfuse blood from a healthy person to save a dying man, why is it not possible to transfuse suffering? And if surgeons can graft healthy skin from one part of the body to restore goodness in another, why is it not possible to graft sacrifice?

It is also true that God sends material and temporal sufferings to certain souls because they need it in order to pave the way for salvation and change. For those who won't willingly take upon themselves the vocation of purification, he does not abandon them even in this delicate but necessary task of discipline. Instead he sends them some tough love in this life so that they may not be left clueless in spiritual wisdom.

Some stubborn children who refuse to take their medication have to be forced to receive their bitter prescriptions if they are to have any chance of a proper recovery, or they will always be vulnerable to relapses of viruses. And God sometimes slips these bitter pills under the gourmet of life, especially for those who feast continually upon this world's delights.

Thus our crosses when borne courageously with faith and love can bear us to heaven. Without this chance to aid our own purification, who knows how long we'll be in purgatory, a state of existence which is also based upon this ancient teaching of atoning for our sins.

In the end, it is God's mercy and love, his utmost generosity and compassion, his understanding of our human weaknesses and poverty that teaches us the crucial importance of spiritual discipline and personal responsibility.

So that in being truly sorry for our sins, we may strive more joyfully towards Christian perfection...and by our witness...win redemption for a broken and wounded world.

The Vocation of a Knight

The Knights of Malta are an enigma to many people. On the one hand, some in society find their exclusive membership somewhat elitist and pompous. On the other hand, there is no denying the great comfort and consolation they bring to those suffering the ravages of war, disease and natural disasters through their medical and social relief efforts.

Like Opus Dei, the Charismatic movement or indeed the Catholic Church herself, the Order of Malta cannot be understood from the outside; it can only be experienced from the inside. To peer in through the critical lens of a spectator is to miss the character and true spirit of its nature and foundation, and to behold only the extravagant and somewhat archaic display of costumes, capes, medals and medieval courtesies; which can seem rather ostentatious. And yet, we need visible symbols of valour, fidelity and courage to remind us of the invisible virtues they represent.

After all, we are sacramental people living in the great sacrament of God’s love, and symbols express our Christian faith with the high pageantry of inspired hearts and wills. But for those of us who are pilgrims in the Order of Malta, how should we live the challenges of this vocation? – (For indeed, it is a vocation and not a social membership.)

There are as many egocentric dangers of belonging to an association draped in historical nobility and prestige, as there are temptations to self-importance. And the novice knight is vulnerable to such mortal wounds unless he guards his soul with the chainmail of faith and humility.

I hope my brethren in the Order will indulge me these few points of reflection.

The Maltese cross so proudly worn by every knight and dame of the Order should point us to something bigger than ourselves and indeed, to someone other than ourselves. This splendid eight-pointed cross of chivalry means something only if it leads those who wear it to prostrate themselves before the rugged cross of Calvary.

This is because the true nobility of a Christian knight lies not in the ancient lineage of the Order nor on the promises of their station, but rather on the promises and grace of their baptism, which makes them children of God and co-heirs of Jesus Christ.

As Catholic Christians, the divine blood that runs through our veins at every Holy Communion should awaken us to our real dignity as sons and daughters of God. As members and associates of the Order, this same eucharistic blood further obliges us to place ourselves at the service of suffering humanity; in imitation of Christ.

In every kingdom there are lords and servants, and knights by their very station exist to serve, so that through their service they bring glory and honour to their king, and ennoble their own souls through the practice of heroic virtues.

A Christian knight has every obligation to be a saint, since he has every obligation to reflect the greatness, mercy and goodness of Christ the king, in whose service he has vowed himself. As secular knights carry the standard of their Lords and Mistresses upon their breastplates, a Christian Knight of Malta must carry the standard of Jesus and Mary upon his soul. And if that lofty standard is the cross, then he must indeed be willing to embrace his holy vocation as a soldier of Christ, bonded to his liege and master as a royal victim, priest and servant, for unlike the flags and banners of secular pride, the glory of Christ is written on the hearts of men.

As such, every emblem of office for the knight must remind him of his divine duty before God; that he is a man set apart - not for honour and glory – but for humble and sacrificial service to God and neighbour; particularly to the poor and the sick. Failure to recognize this grave obligation to sanctity and love will only reduce a Christian knight to the hollow tinsel of his medals and ribbons. And like so many things that sparkle and glisten in this world, the vanity of such an obsession will be tragic.

All of us need symbols and ideals larger than ourselves to help us live the Christian life. We need the collective drive, courage and wisdom of other heroic souls in a blessed camaraderie of faith and love, to support and strengthen us on our common pilgrimage and journey to paradise. But we also need to ensure that the glorious symbols of such a consecrated gathering do not blind us with pride and hinder our salvation, but rather remind us of our real dignity as children of God, and lead us to place ourselves at the service of our brothers and sisters.

This is our true noble calling; to be a poor knight for Christ, so that our hearts may be rich with love for his people. In this, we do well to recall the example of Francesco Bernadone – the frivolous young man of Assisi who lusted with all his heart for the worldly nobility of knighthood, who clad himself in the finest armour and rode forth on an empty crusade for fame and honour, only to be stripped of his delusions by the love of God.

Suffering greatly the pains of his vanity, he finally found himself naked of all illusions and reduced to an empty husk of existence. With no knighthood and no nobility to boast about, he could only throw himself before divine mercy and in doing so, he took the first steps of wisdom to becoming a true knight of Christ. In exchanging his rich armour for the tattered tunic of a beggar and in surrendering his quest for glory to his hunger for Christ, this young man began the transformation that would eventually immortalize him as the shining paradigm of a true Christian knight.

For a cup to be filled, it must first be emptied. St. Francis of Assisi pray for us, teach us what it means to be a real knight. May the good Lord save us from the vanity of this life.

Are you disappointed?

Every now and then I wrestle with the disappointment of living the Christian life; not that the Christian life isn’t worth living. Rather, I sometimes expect in some kind of childish way that the waters of baptism would make life easier and more pleasing. And of course it doesn’t.

Christians don’t necessarily enjoy an easier life than pagans. Being saved and redeemed by our Lord doesn’t make the battle against sin any less urgent. We still fall sick, we still suffer injustice and pain, we still labour against the concupiscence of our flesh, and ever so often, we still fall prey to the dark vestiges of despair.

Calvary beckons every Christian soul to climb it in the example of his valiant captain, and to crown his ascent with the sacrificial worship of faith, hope and love.

The health and wealth gospel so richly preached from the pulpits of some evangelical circles is not the gospel of Christ. It may sound more popular than the gospel of Jesus, but it is not the message of Jesus. Instead, Christ our Lord promised that the cross is ever before us, the poor will always be with us, injustices will exist, and if we’re fortunate enough, some of us may even be crowned with martyrdom.

It all sounds a little morbid, doesn’t it? No wonder some people prefer to shop around for a more lenient gospel. But like the political zealots of Israel who hoped that Jesus would usher in an earthly reign of peace, prosperity and freedom from the Romans, we too sometimes look to our messiah only as the deliverer of our earthly chains, forgetting that the Kingdom of God is not of this world.

In reality, Jesus never promised us a naturally happy life. Rather, he promised us a supernaturally happy life; one that can be experienced even now. The gospel ‘Beatitudes’ show us the joy to be found in witnessing to Christ amidst the sufferings of this life. “The peace that I give, the world cannot give.” We hear this read so often from the gospels and yet we hanker after the peace of this world. Why? Is it because we find it more deeply fulfilling or merely because our hearts cannot aspire to anything beyond our immediate gratification?

Have we grown up only to become people of the moment with no regard to eternity, unable to look beyond the veil of our passions and appetites? I hope not. But even if that were so, there’s nothing to stop us from refocusing our spiritual eyes. Our joys in this world are always dependent on things going right, or to put it more honestly; things going our way. But the joys of a Christian faith does not hinge on any thing, property, human person or circumstance, so that in spite of trials, difficulties and failures, the Christian soul can still enjoy a peace and happiness that is above the conditions of this life. This is because Christian joy is founded on Jesus Himself. He is the reward and source of our happiness and peace. And as St. Augustine discovered, "our hearts were made for thee O'Lord, and we shall not rest until we rest in thee."

In life there will always be disappointments, especially when we have ideals. That’s not to suggest that ideals are bad. Not at all! In fact, ideals are the fuel that drives our passions; they are the musical notes that carry our words of commitment, fidelity and courage and give them form and beauty. However, we must be careful not to be driven to despair and bitterness when those same ideals are not realized despite our best prayers and efforts. You’ve heard of the phrase, “Man proposes, God disposes”?

Well, an English Dominican Provincial once gave a homily to newly professed novices in which he said; whatever schemes we hatch, whatever plans we formulate along the way, whatever monuments we hope to raise, we can be sure of one thing – God will frustrate them.

Perhaps you share this frustration and you’re upset that no matter how hard you try, how boldly you plan and aspire, you never seem to get a providential break. Are we doomed to fail because God sets Himself up as our adversary to happiness?

Instead, Fr. Timothy Radcliff O.P. sees it this way. God sometimes demolishes our plans and extinguishes our hopes because no matter how grand they might seem to us, He wants to liberate us from the smallness of our dreams. He wants us to reach more extravagantly in life, and to share more ambitiously in His hopes for us. Our dreams and plans (despite appearing ideal for ourselves) actually imprison us in mediocrity, since they grow from the soil of our own self-interest and imaginations. And as John Paul the Great often told young people everywhere, “Do not be content with mediocrity”.

God is not against us, He is completely for us, which is why he sometimes challenges us to look beyond the trivial pursuits of our hearts. Real happiness is not bought at the cost of replacing truth with fantasies, and God wants us to be truly happy, even at the risk of disappointing us.

We’re familiar with the feast of the Epiphany; the story of how God revealed Himself to the nations through the visit of the Magi from the East. We picture in our minds the moment of discovery for these wise men. We see them presenting their gifts amidst the Christmas glow of beautiful paintings and pious nativity plays. But how much do we really know of their struggles?

Did they expect to find what they found after months, or even years of difficult travel and seeking? How much time, energy and money did they invest in this quest for the King of the Jews? What sacrifices did they endure as they left their homes and families to seek this treasure? What greatness did they imagine they would find? And finally after the weariness of such a long journey across harsh and dangerous lands, their hopes kept alive only by the light of a single star, they discover their treasure wrapped in swaddling cloths in a poor shelter, surrounded by the poverty and filth of the animals, and cared for by two very ordinary looking parents in the company of dirty shepherds.

Was this a cruel joke? Is this what they had sacrificed everything for? Were they misled by false hope? Where was the majesty they had expected? Where was the splendour of this new king? Is this truly the audience they had been waiting for? Disappointed, sad and disillusioned, how much doubt must’ve filled their hearts. Should they turn their backs on this pathetic picture, or should they believe beyond the picture?

Uncertain – they must’ve prayed, discussed and pondered. But in the end, they knelt and worshipped Him, laying their gifts and their lives before His tiny feet. And with that act of faith, they broke free from the shackles and limitations of their human plans, and received instead the royal freedom of the Sons of God and a vision for happiness that enriched their lives beyond all telling.

My friends, we too shall face many disappointments in life. The question that awaits us however is the same: will we offer our human plans to his divine love and commit ourselves to trust Him still? Or will we turn our backs and walk away?

The next time we find ourselves at this crossroad, I pray we may have the wisdom of the Magi, for as always, some truths can only be learned on our knees.

Lord of the Dance

Dancing is not one of my fortes. Even though I sometimes take recklessly to the dance floor, I’m about as graceful as a guillotine spinning out of control. Forget the rhythm of the beat, we’re talking about taking evasive action whenever I gyrate to a tune. But some people just know how to move around their partners.

It’s true that the best dancers are always instinctive, they’re not self-conscious when they surrender themselves to the beat of the music, which lifts them, carries them and fills them with sweetness. They don’t dance with their minds, they dance with their hearts. They never try too hard; they don’t think through their steps, they merely allow themselves to enjoy the moment.

In the same way, I suppose marriage is very much like a dance. Drawn by a mutual melody and attraction for each other, our hearts beat to a common song that only we can hear. Step-by-step, we begin to move, swirl, spin and express the contours of our love with fervour and passion. And like planets orbiting around each other, we feel the gravity of our attraction, pulling us closer as the music becomes more familiar and the song more personal. With practice our steps become coordinated, our movements instinctive, and in time, a couple becomes one body in the rhythm of the music. Well, at least that’s how it is for some.

The rest of us tiptoe with as much grace as an elephant in a tutu, and I for one continue to put people’s eyes out with my flailing limbs. Needless to say, I’m uncomfortably awkward with knowing what to do, how to move and when to move. And the same is often true in my relationship with God.

If our spiritual life is a dance with God, how do we see ourselves progressing? From experience we know that the dance of life is not always slow and melodic, not always coordinated to our moods. Sometimes it’s fast and passionate, other times it can be violently energetic, often it’s spontaneous and unpredictable. And perhaps like me you sometimes feel intimidated by the complicated steps and rhythm, or find yourself lost in the complex beat of the music.

Do we move with perfect timing and grace? Do we remember the steps and music? Do we drag our soles, stumble over steps and stomp clumsily on his divine feet mostly?

It doesn’t matter. As long as we choose God as our dance partner, we shall always be in tune, even when we have two left feet. Why? Because when we dance with God, he always leads. All we have to do is follow his rhythm. Don’t think too hard about what steps to take, where to move and when to twirl. Trust your divine partner. Just hold on and let yourself be carried in love. The more you dance, the more you will become one.

That’s what happens when you tango with the real Lord of the dance. Everything else is pure magic. So dance with faith, dance with trust, and dance with joy. But whatever you do, don’t be afraid to dance with God.

St. Josemaria Escriva 3

Over the years, I've heard so many unkind things about St. Josemaria and his oft-contested canonisation. I'm just glad I decided to watch, listen, study, pray and decide for myself instead of listening to these rumors. I hope you will too.

Thinking with the Church

To add on to my last entry on Conscience, I would like to share an excerpt from this book by Fr. Richard John Neuhaus; called “Catholic Matters –Confusion, controversy and the splendor of truth”.

“Dissent from official teachings – typically from teachings that do not sit well with the surrounding culture, and most typically from teachings touching on sexuality – is taken to be a mark of having grown up. The disposition is this: “Yes, I am a Catholic but I think for myself.” The somewhat implausible assumption is that what one thinks up by oneself is more interesting than what the Church teaches.

It’s true that, as the sixteenth-century St. Ignatius of Loyola put it, we should think with the Church (sentire cum ecclesia). It is also true that thinking with the Church begins with thinking. Faithful assent is not a matter of standing to attention, clicking one’s heels, and saluting at the appearance of every document from Rome. Rather, it is a matter of thinking for myself so that I can think with the Church, the prior assumption being that the Church possesses a teaching charism and authority that warrants my assent. I think for myself not to come up with my own teaching but to make the Church’s teaching my own. That is not always easy to do. People say they have difficulty with one teaching or another. That is not necessarily a problem. The problem arises when we assume that the problem is with the teaching and not with ourselves. The great nineteenth-century theologian Cardinal John Henry Newman said, “Ten thousand difficulties do not add up to a doubt.”

“Catholic Matters” can presently be purchased at Borders (That’s where I got my copy); and no, I don’t get any commission for recommending this, unless you count the spiritual kind.

In good conscience and in bad

Many Christians, including Catholics think that faithful assent to the Church’s doctrinal teachings is akin to an absolute surrender of reason and will. Post-modernism has bred such an emphasis on self that every man, woman and child always knows better than the collective wisdom of the Church.

Even clergy and religious sometimes hide their contempt for certain Church teachings by dressing their disobedience under the excuse of what they call “faithful dissent”.

In other words, “I disagree and disobey but I’m nevertheless a faithful Catholic because I choose to think for myself, and I think the Church is wrong on this subject so in obedience to a greater truth (usually mine), I must dissent.”

First off, there is nothing wrong with thinking for yourself. Faith and reason are not in battle with each other in the Catholic faith. Indeed, they co-exist in a perfect marriage where one complements the other. After all, God gave us the spirit to believe but he also gave us a mind to understand what we believe, and we are to use both. But in a world of shifting principles and democratic consciences, any claims to eternal or absolute truths can certainly upset anyone who has been weaned on contemporary ideas of personal choice and freedom.

For many, morality is not indisputable but adaptable. Truth is not eternal but relative, and “conscience” is just another word for exercising my right to decide for myself, rather than the imprint of the eternal God who infused our souls with that natural gift of sensing what we know by nature to be right or wrong, good or evil. Where that instinctive knowledge has been suppressed, dulled or ignored for too long, then a false sense of moral principles fed on the ideologies of the world and the appetites of the ego replaces the true conscience as the fulcrum of a person’s code of conduct and thinking.

G.K. Chesterton put it well when he said, "When people stop believing in something, they'll start believing in anything." A conscience in reality is a spiritual muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes and the more sensitive to good and evil it is. The less you use it or worse, try to suppress it; it will eventually be reduced to a state of spiritual muscular dystrophy. How then can it support a moral life?

God has given us tremendous attributes in this life, each of which is a tool designed by the creator to serve and help us when used as intended. Naturally when we use something in a way other than it was designed for, we risk not only ineffectiveness but also a real danger to life and limb. A can-opener does a great job of slicing open our canned dinner but it is hardly an appropriate tool for trimming your nails unless you have extra fingers to spare.

Think of your conscience and reason as a car. It can get you places and bring you to your eternal destination, but only if you drive it whilst being mindful of the rules that govern the highways of life. However, if you do all kinds of modifications to your car, or worse, you let it fall apart and then choose to ignore safety signs on the road, then you put yourself and others at risk because you become a danger to everyone else driving on that highway. When that happens, your “Aston Martin” is more likely to serve as a flaming coffin that propels you to certain death rather than the reliable means for bringing you home. After all, being placed behind the wheels can be intoxicating to anyone who doesn’t temper such power with humility and faith.

What’s more, we should recognize that since Genesis, there exists a voice that has sought to offer us an alternative code of morality to the one God envisioned for His children. He didn't tell Adam & Eve to do away with a conscience, he was much too sly for that. Instead, he convinced them that they had the sole power to know for themselves what was right or wrong.

“Eat of the fruit of the tree”, he said, then you shall know the difference between good and evil and you shall be like God. With this ultimate lie, this wretched creature convinced our first parents that “God doesn't want you to eat from the tree of knowledge because He knows that you will become like Him; you will become powerful and self-sufficient and will have no need of Him. That is why He hides that power from you, so that you may never know or enjoy that ability". Sadly it was this temptation to be our own Gods, to be subservient to no one, to be answerable to no master but the high altars of our own egos that plunged the world into darkness and rebellion.

Today, Satan continues to say to us, "You don't need the Church to point out what is good and evil. You have the power to decide this for yourself! The Church wants to keep you oppressed because she knows that you won't need her when you can decide on your own. You can be your own Church, your own Pope, and your own Gospel. It is only fools and old unthinking masses that bow their heads to the Church and her high-handed hypocrisy and thus live lives of utter sadness and oppression."

Why do you suppose popular culture and Hollywood constantly depict Catholics as ignorant, superstitious, pathetic and sometimes cruel, but always as tortured souls suffering great misery? Yet anyone who lives a genuine Catholic life will tell you that it’s a life resplendent with joy and grace.

Still, it’s no secret that the world identifies Catholicism as the bastion of oppression and injustice. To be a Catholic is to be robbed of original thought and reason; to be denied the freedom to do whatever you want, to express yourself in anyway that you feel comfortable. It's the "I gotta be me" mentality described by the late Archbishop Fulton Sheen.

The Catholic idea of freedom however is not quite the same thing. It is the freedom to choose wisely, to act responsibly and to be delivered from whatever addictions and sinfulness that can chain an individual and blind him to the right choices in life. The fact is, freedom as a gift is not an end in itself, nor is it the pathway to self-gratification.

Is the man who is free to indulge in drugs, adultery, fornication, pornography, homosexuality or excessive drinking truly free, when every such opportunity saps him of his strength to say "no" and rise above his wanton desires? Of course not. Rather, true freedom liberates us to be authentic witnesses in this world to the reality of God and truth. And one cannot do this when one is imprisoned in a thousand ways through false ideals, lifestyles and choices.

Now and then we are told that to make a financial killing, we need to listen to the advice of our brokers. To get a sharper nose, we gladly acquiesce to plastic surgeons. To have more prosperity, we obediently seek out geomancers and fortune-tellers, but to live rightly and justly for our happiness, we are outraged that the Church's teaching office or Magisterium should presume to tell us how to live our lives - they who receive their commission "to feed my sheep" from Christ Himself.

Tragically some things just don't change. Maybe that’s why Satan has such a field day convincing generations of men to follow in the footsteps of their first parents.

A conscience, despite being a natural gift from God, still needs to be formed and cultivated. This is where religion comes in. A man with a badly formed conscience will not be able to rise to the occasion under attack. Besides, how can we truthfully say "each man according to his own conscience" when some have such poorly formed ones as to appear to have none?

Hence to preserve and protect us, Christ our Lord gave us more than a conscience, He gave us the Church to preserve and form that conscience in order that through the Holy Spirit, we might be delivered from the idolatry of self-worship.

Truth is immutable and unchangeable. We are not the benchmarks of morality in our own lives. Christ is - The same Christ yesterday, today and tomorrow. The same Christ who commissioned one Church in particular to speak for Him definitively.

That might explain why the Catholic Church is so reviled as an icon of moral steadfastness in societies that expound an ideology of convenience and gratification. At the same time, she is often admired for her unwavering courage by people disillusioned with the transient solutions offered by society today. Her defense of traditional teachings in the face of trends, political correctness and popular theologies, effectively sets her as a thorn in the sides of people who recognize the seeds of truth in her words, regardless of how much they might insist on drowning that out.

Remember that the Church has never taught her doctrines and moral ethics because they were popular or even practical! She teaches them and maintains that she has no right to alter them for one reason alone - She is convinced that it expresses the will and intention of Christ Jesus her Lord and King, in whom her only duty is to obey and adore. That is why Jesus warned His disciples that the world will hate them as it hated Him, it will reject them as it rejected Him, and like her Master, the Church will be "a sign of contradiction" to the world, just as the Cross continues to be a sign of contradiction to the world.

Anyone who prides himself on being more progressive, forward-thinking and obviously more "enlightened" than a 2000 year old Church without even seriously investigating its doctrinal stands with some degree of honesty does a great deal of disservice both to the Church and to himself. And it is not uncommon for many in this day and age who are hungry for truth to be seduced by new fads, theologies and spiritual appeals that more often than not, distill Christian truths in their claims to shed more light.

Unfortunately, many (including priests and religious) who are most prejudiced against orthodox Catholicism, sadly also do not allow themselves to seriously study anything from conservative or traditional Catholic sources before condemning them. Instead, armed with what little knowledge they derive from some dissident source of literature, they feel comfortable abandoning two millenniums of magisterial teaching, saints, martyrs, doctors and the infallible promise of Jesus without bothering to weigh the arguments for the Catholic position seriously.

If this was an operation on a life and every doctor jumped at a new, fancy, popular treatment without objectively weighing these claims against proven medical histories and knowledge, they'll end up killing hundreds. In spite of that, many Church leaders, pastors and theologians feel they have to constantly reinvent Catholic theology by challenging the Church's heritage with hostility that borders on the insane. Instead of claiming to speak for Catholic truth, at the very most they can only present these novel ideas as their own.

Yet it is this crazed hunger for something new, something different, something exotic that dominates so much of their theological wrangling that they lead the faithful into a chasm of mistrust and confusion about the Church's teachings, often times just for the sake of seeming revolutionary. At best, they merely succeed at reinventing the wheel. At worst, they promote heresy and confusion among the faithful.

This is not to suggest however that Catholic Theology can bear no dialogue, that to raise doubts is to risk being struck by a bolt of lightning. That is not what we are saying.

The theology of the Church is made more manifest and clear through the contributions of great Catholic minds who delve into divine mysteries in a genuine effort to understand and articulate these truths. In order to grow, there must be courage to explore, to ask questions and to try new ways of thinking, but always and everywhere, this must be done in the context of Catholic understanding and tradition as far as divine revelation is concerned.

This is the backdrop. This is where we must return in our quest for a more authentic Catholic identity, even if our thoughts explore and stretch the boundaries of divine science; because in the end, theologians cannot be said to be expounding Catholic theology if what they teach contradicts and attacks the essence and nature of the Catholic faith - just as you cannot genuinely claim to be Catholic if your life bears no resemblance to authentic sacramental living within the Catholic Church. It is the duty and function of theology to question, think and study the truths in divine revelation in order to bring out their clarity and light, not to change and alter these truths into something entirely alien, or to invent a new revelation so to speak.

Author and apologist, Scott Hahn once commented that to agree with what the Church teaches is not faith, it is coincidence. You have a set of beliefs that you subscribe to. And coincidentally, the Catholic Church has an identical set of beliefs. Faith is when you encounter a teaching that is difficult, but you recognize the spiritual authority and wisdom of the Church and you bow your head in obedience, knowing that where your human efforts end, the Holy Spirit supplements with a wisdom and love that never fails.

The truth is, agreeing with Jesus has never been the condition for accepting His teaching. For His Apostles, His words were all that was necessary. They believed because He said it was so.

In the Gospel of John, many of Jesus' disciples abandoned Him because they could not accept His teaching that they would have to eat His Body and drink His Blood. No one could fault them for appealing to logic; it just did not make sense. However, instead of explaining Himself, Our Blessed Lord turned to Peter and the eleven and asked them, "What about you, will you leave also?"

Faith succeeds where human knowledge fails. It was Peter who responded despite not understanding, "You have the words of eternal life Lord, to whom shall we go?" John 6:68

Some people may be tempted to interpret this as implying that we should blindly accept all that the Church teaches. On the contrary, there is nothing in Catholic teaching that goes against the grain of reason. God didn’t just give us a heart to love Him; He also gave us intelligence to know Him and a mind to understand His will. Faith is not incompatible with reason, and it’s a tribute to the wisdom of the Catholic Church that she recognizes both as complementing each other in the life of a believer.

Therefore, do not be discouraged when questions arise. Many times, the Apostles themselves could not understand the Lord's teachings, at least not until the Holy Spirit came upon them and opened their minds to the mysteries of His Revelations. Very often, these episodes of clarity occurred much later in their history when they had grown more mature as Christians. So the next time you come across a difficult Catholic teaching, don’t be too hasty to pronounce judgement until you’ve heard all the evidence.

Read, study, question and research! You’ll be surprised at the wealth of Catholic resources available to those who want to know their faith better. You owe it to yourself to seek and discover the truth, instead of quietly assuming that the Church is erroneous in her moral claims. The least we can do in such a dilemma is to honestly try and understand the Church's position for ourselves, instead of relying on prejudicial hearsay.

Above all, pray! Let us sincerely ask the Lord for illumination. Because like Peter, we can also say to the Catholic Church, the true Bride of Christ, our Mother, "You have the words of eternal life, to whom shall we go?"